Rumors on the Internets

Good ol' George hears RUMORS on the INTERNETS!!!:

http://bushhearsrumors.ytmnd.com/

Cow Tipping

Cow Tipping seems like a lot of fun:

http://tipacow.ytmnd.com/

Pocket Protection

Raise you hand if you like pocket protectors!

http://protectyourpocket.ytmnd.com/

Mime Time

During an episode of Family Guy yesterday I was interested in a certain segment of the show. A mime did the weather, indicating that it would be a cold and windy day using acting rather than words. This piqued my curiosity of mimes, and their origins. Today we will look at the origin of mimes and what they are good for.

The following is an excerpt from http://www.wikipedia.org on mimes.

A Mime artist is someone who uses mime as a theatrical medium or as a performance art. In earlier times, in English, such a performer was referred to
as a mummer.

The Roman Pantomimus was a spectacular kind of play in which the actor was confined to gesticulating and dancing, sometimes with a behind-the-scenes chorus providing music and song.

Modern mime is a branch of theatre in which the performer usually uses no voice but instead performs using spacial and corporeal movement, full-body physical expressions, body language and gesture, often with little or no theatrical props. It is often, but not always, done in white face and the movements and expressions are heightened for greater effect. Movement theatre is a related branch of theatre which merges elements of mime with that of modern dance. Amateur mime artists often use a very limited number of routines from the repertoire of mime artist Marcel Marceau, such as 'walking against the wind', 'peeling a banana', and 'pretending to be in an invisible box'.

So we can see that even the ancient Roman civilization liked it's mimes, also referring to them as pantomimus (or pantomimes). A key point to take from this is that your typical mime acting that you might be familiar with, such as 'pretending to be in an invisible box', is just the tip of the ice berg! It appears that there are more advance miming techniques that are being used by mimes all over the world. As well, the white-painted face is not always a requisite, but is certainly the norm.

To complete our education on mimes, let us take a look at how you too can join this fascinating world of miming. The following before and after images show one such person's transformation from an "ordinary, every-day, Albert" to "Mime Albert" (image courtesy of Travis). Pay special notice to the inclusion of a white face paint, gloves, and French beret. The painted tear is optional, all depends on if you are a "sad mime" or a "happy mime".

Before (left) and After (right)

The "Deep Web"

The deep Web has gotten a lot of press these days.
<http://library.albany.edu/internet/deepweb.html>

So what is this so-called "Deep Web"? Why is it getting this kind of press attention? And why is it so darn deep? Perhaps the following artist depictions of the Deep Web will shed some light on the subject (all images taken from http://www.press.umich.edu/jep/07-01/bergman.html):

The "Surface Web"

The "Deep Web" (Note how it is MUCH deeper than the "Surface Web" and it also has TWO boats trolling for fish!)

That certainly shows the depth we are talking about with the "Deep Web", but what is in the murky deep you ask? Again, a picture is worth a thousand words:

"Deep Web Pie Chart"

The last Deep Web Pie Chart shows that there are quite a few calculators (2%), among other things, on the Deep Web. This is quite surprising as most people have their own hand-held calculators and Deep Web calculators do not have much to offer over conventional calculators. How did these calculators get on the Deep Web, and why are they there? This seems like some kind of government cover-up as they try to hide this surplus of calculators in the Deep Web where they didn't expect us to find them.

One thing is for certain: As we explore the depths of the Deep Web we seem to find more questions than answers.

Dr. Chow, The Loft, Triple Three?

This post MAY be of a secret code of some kind, but I don't really know. I could sure use YOUR help in deciphering the exact content and meaning, so please pay close attention. Before listening to the actual clip below, here is some background:

Circa May 2, 2005, I received a present for my birthday from my cousin, Kim. She had been visiting a garage sale in the days preceding my birthday and found a recording device, with attached sticky notes, for sale. It was extremely cheap and for some reason she thought I would like it. Little did she know the amazing secrets and adventures this little recorder held within it's grey plastic walls!

The Recorder (notice the multiple function buttons!)

At first glance it appeared to be like any other recorder; including some nice features, like a light for night-time note taking and the ability to record multiple voice messages being key. However, the previous owner had not erased all of their messages, and on first review of the already saved message the adventure began! Click on the embedded object below to hear for yourself (also available for download at http://jparrpearson.googlepages.com/drchow.wav):

The infamous recording!

Some debate has arisen to the actual content of the message. There are 3 distinct parts to the recording, as we will briefly discuss here. The first part of the message seems to be about a doctor of some kind, and the consensus is a one "Dr. Chow" (spelling?). However, the following 2 sections are more ambiguous. The middle section could be "The Lost" or "The Loft", with most people thinking "The Loft" is more accurate. While the ending could be "Triple Tree", "Triple Tee" or "Triple Three", with most assuming it has to do with "Triple Three" (a basketball reference?). Thus we have:

"Dr. Chow, The Loft, Triple Three."

What does it all mean, and is this what is actually being said? Recently, I have pondered this message and think that "The Lost" and "Triple Tee" may not be so out of the question after all. Just think, if you were a doctor, you would probably play golf, and if you play golf you would "tee" off when you hit the ball, and we all know how golf balls can get "lost" all the time... This is one area of possible investigation. Another thing to note is the increased speed at which "Triple Three" is read, could this mean that Dr. Chow is in trouble and the person making the recording had to hurriedly get the message out, or is it more of an excited tone? Unfortunately, at this time, I still cannot correlate the good Dr., Lofts, and Triple Threes in any way. Thus I ask for any additional insights that may be out there.

I only hope that one day this mystery will be solved.

How To Find Out What Women Want

I was recently thinking about how difficult it is to understand women. So I started to think of a way to better understand women and what they want. I figure if I give them what they want they will be happy, and I, in turn, will also be happy (no, not like that!). Here is a list of ways I thought up to determine what a women wants:

1. Dress up like a woman, wear makeup, etc. to get in her head (like the movie with Mel Gibson)
2. Do an Internet search
3. Ask them directly (or a friend)

The first idea certainly could be a fun one! But, I doubt that you could really hear what women are thinking and all like what happened in the movie, it seemed like a preety big fluke when he got electrocuted and all (there was nothing else on at the time, that's the ONLY reason I watched it!). Besides that would make it too easy. Not to mention all that girly stuff (pantyhose, lipstick, blowdryer, etc) can be expensive for someone on a modest budget like myself.

Do women want a really cute Pokemon car?

An Internet search can be done relatively easily and can yield a large number of results. The results can vary pointing to the fact that women are all a little different and not always pleased by the same things. Some of the suggestions out there might work, but this is not the end-all solution I would have hoped. As well, I think some women might lie on the Internet, or give out misleading information, to trick us guys. The following is an example of some information I found:

Why do women have time for everything and everyone else but me?

Are you interesting to talk to? Are you clean, well-groomed? Do you have a sense of humor? Do you listen to people? Do you project some self-confidence? Do you have ideas for places to go with a woman? Do you have any flair for conversation? Do you have decent social skills?Are you fairly intelligent, well read, passionate about something? Do you show any emotions? Just a few things that I look for in potential mates.

Good luck, Karen

This Karen makes note of a few good points to follow such as the importance of showering regularly and being able to participate in a conversation. However, this is Karen-specific and other women will be a little different. These tips are a good start but more specialized measures must be taken to please any particular woman. Another site of interest is www.allthatwomenwant.com. Look closely and you'll notice that the background is PINK, this is a colour that most women have admitted to want. Such information can help you give women what they want.

The last option seems like the best one, but easier said than done. A direct question such as "What do you want?" could result in generic or socially-accepted answers such as "A man with lots of money". The woman may also be hesitant in giving you the actual answer and may just tell you things farther down on the list of things she really wants. If the woman has friends (they quite often do!) they could be very helpful in giving you the inside edge, or clues to follow (such clues often will not come from the woman herself). Friends can be an invaluable information source and might even tell the woman that you are enquiring about her, which is flattering and may be part of what she really wants too!!

It appears that the best way to go to discover what a woman wants is to do a combination of an Internet search and actually talking to the woman in question (and/or any of her friends). Hopefully this is a good start to finding out what women really want.

Wow, Where Are The Manners?

Here's a low-down on the situation: Last night I was interrupted by my neighbour who brought back a roll of paper towels I let him borrow. This neighbour also has a 5 (or 6?) year old kid. I don't know them well, only said hello to the dad a few times in the hall. So he decides to invite himself in to see the apartment (and the water leakage problems).

Then, out of nowhere.... His kid runs into my place and into my living room. He starts touching EVERYTHING, including my computer. At this point I'm pretty stunned, and try to shadow the kid so he doesn't break anything. All the while I have to talk to his father, although it is easy to see I'm distracted with him opening my laptop or browsing my CD collection. The worst part was when he then decided to open my fridge and started browsing through it!

The above image depicts a fictional re-enactment of the scene.

When I finally ushered the two of them out of the place I was left bewildered. How can a child be so devoid of manners, and how can a father stand idly by as his son looks through my fridge all the while telling me (a total stranger) he is hungry. All I can say is "wow".

Newspaper Peddlers Rant

Why do the local free newspapers (Dose, 24, Metro) have hawkers (peddlers) handing out the papers all over?

First of all, I find it annoying to have to dodge the usual assortment of beggars and people with papers/flyers every morning, and dodging a bunch of people handing out newspapers as well just adds to the hassle. But beyond my annoyance at having people sticking papers in my face as I walk to work, as well as adding to an already congested sidewalk or building entrance, what does this accomplish?

Do they really think that they are providing a service, when the newspaper boxes, chalked full of these papers, are only another foot away? Do they think that employing these jobless morons by making them stand outside like idiots for hours a day is actually helping them? Do they think that by forcing the papers into our hands we will actually read the crap and mindless rumors they print? Do they believe that a "friendly person" handing out the papers so you don't have to exert any energy to pick one up yourself will increase the value added for the end customer? OR... are they just on drugs? I think the latter.

These newspaper hawks have not only cluttered the streets with themselves, but with the abandoned papers that people leave lying around. You can't step aboard the skytrain without stepping or sitting on massive amounts of discarded morning papers now. Yet translink apparently doesn't mind the access garbage, then again do the translink executives actually ride the skytrian themselves? Doubtful.


If someone wants a stupid paper, let them expend the additional 2.5 seconds to pick one up themselves out of the numerous paper boxes around the city. Then there will be less thrown away newspapers on the ground and less annoyance for those who are actually trying to get to work.

Too Much Technology!

The following is my Libs 7005 video presentation titled "Too Much Technology". It deals with how too much technology can be a pitfall in some cases. The major drawing points of the video are the robot, the lightsabre duel, and, of course, my beard.

How Many Women Are Out There?

Goal: Find the number of possible datable women in the Lower Mainland (with an Asian bias).

First we need to look at the age and ethnic demographic facts available.

• Total population of the Greater Vancouver Area is about 2,000,000 (Vancouver, Burnaby, Coquitlam, Richmond, New Westminster, Surrey, Delta, and North Vancouver)
• About 500,000 (1/4) are Asian (Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Filipino, or Vietnamese)
• About 8% are in the 20-25 age group
• About 50% are female

This gives us a total of about 20,000 women fitting this category (20-25 Asian women in the Vancouver area). Next we need to narrow this value to those who are available and "datable". I define "datable" as getting at least a 7.5/10 on www.hotornot.com. These values are more subjective and should be looked at in a range rather than an absolute value.

• 50-80%? married/in a current relationship vs single
• 30-60%? undatable vs datable

By taking this range on the population of 20,000 we get a value of 1,600 to 7,000. If we take a value somewhere between (i.e. ~3,000) we see that this is quite a large number. It is very difficult to date all 3,000 of these women (especially on a limited budget), and that assumes you can find them to begin with.

What is a guy to do to first find these possible candidates, second pick one to date, and third eventually decide if the one chosen is the "right" one? Can you ever be sure the the woman you have found is the "right" one without dating all 3,000 in the selected population? Or maybe the criteria must be extended to further limit the search results and possible matches (i.e. maybe only 50% would actually consider talking to me :'( thus limiting this number to 1,500).

Finding the right match; this really is a complicated and difficult task. Is there an easier way?