Skytrain Shenanigans

While thinking of the crazy, stupid, and just plain weird people I have met on the skytrain recently I have composed a brief top 10 list (starting with the best):

The 'Red River' Singer Guy

This guy has to top the charts. He seemed a little retarded and was probably drunk as well, but had a big interest in singing. He was talking to the people around him when I got on, and telling them about "Red River". Whether it is an actual river somewhere or made up I don't know. But when he started singing about good ol' Red River, in a very loud and out-of-tune way, I couldn't help but laughing out loud. The people around him tried to ignore him, but he continued by saying "I think this is a song you'll really like..." and continued to sing about Red River. Not much to the song other than the words Red River, but highly entertaining and made the skytrain ride home go much faster that day.

The Weed Guy

This guy was on the same train as the Red River guy, which made it all the more fun. He was talking to a guy next to him (who tried to ignore him) and told him all about marijuana. In fact, he even pulled out a bag and described the seeds in detail to all around him. At one point he even mentioned how Buddha had had one cannabis seed a day, and that was how he was so smart and was enlightened.

The Not-So-Smart First-Time Kid

An entire family (from Surrey) was on the skytrain for the first time (with the exception of one lady in the party). She described all the sites as we went by, drawing amusing reactions from the rest of her guests. One of the kids with them, a very young boy, was not quite what you would call a "Rocket Scientist". Two of the more memorable quotes he gave were as follows:

Lady: "This stop is metrotown, it is a very big mall"

Kid: "As big as the Earth?"

Kid: "Wow, was that a firework?"

Lady: "No, that was another skytrain passing by..."

The Retarded Giggling Midget Lady

I couldn't hold my laughter in as I saw this lady. She was a midget, retarded, and liked to giggle! As well, she had another midget friend with her who liked to do the same. She would run around giggling and looking funny the whole time, as I had to cover my mouth to stop from uncontrollably laughing.

The Crazy, Spitting, Swearing Guy

This guy had some issues. He actually spat right in the middle of the skytrain and looked to have some kind of froth coming out of his mouth. He also yelled some phrases a few times (which I couldn't quite make out) and seemed very angry.

The On-The-Run-With-A-Baby Guy

This man looked about 30 and had a stroller with a baby. He seemed very nervous and was always looking around and asked some neighboring riders questions as he was on the skytrain. He was only on for about two stops before running off and saying he had "enough of this !#$@". One stop later the skytrain police entered the skytrain and held it up for a few minutes as they searched for someone...

Korean Who Knows 'All About Women'

This guy was definitely drunk, and had a friend with him (also Korean). They spoke in English, as he tried to tell his friend the do's and don'ts to getting a Canadian girlfriend. I was tired at the time but still managed to chuckle a few times as he went on for 30 minutes plus. One useful tip he mentioned was "never call the second day after you meet one, you will look very desperate and this is not good, OK??? You got it??"

Lady who wants to talk to someone while holding up the train for minutes!

This lady held up the skytrain doors for an estimated 3 minutes before she finally got tired of our complaints. She was talking to a friend at Edmonds station while standing in the doorway thinking she could hold us all up for her important conversation (not wanting to miss the skytrain as it was very late as it was). After she finally released the door she fingered us to show her disapproval of our desire to go when she was in an "important" conversation (I laughed and pointed at her as the skytrain pulled out, haha).

Drunk People (in general)

Too many cases to cite here. Even seen some people passed out beside the skytrain blocking people from getting in and out of the doors.

People With Fricken Huge Bags (usually women)

Getting hit by stupid women's bags happens even more than spotting drunk people. It deserves it's own blog post, but I don't feel like going into it.

Wow, exciting times on the skytrain! Always be alert when riding it to be sure you don't miss more wonderful adventures that await us in the future!