ZOMG, Spider!

Here is a small adventure in spider killing, in my bathroom. This post is somewhat reminiscent of the Bees! post on Somthing Awful (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2243176).

So it was a Saturday evening, and I was making a trip to the bathroom before watching a movie. Imagine my surprise when I go to wash my hands and see this under the sink (note that I had already given it a quick spray of room deodorizer by the time I took this picture):



My first thought was to crush the insect with a paper towel or something, but it was quite large and nasty looking, so I decided to try some other methods. Enter the nearest spray bottles and aerosol cans I could find (note the word "CAUTION" on the bottle to the left and the poison symbol on the WD-40 ;):

Eat it!:

There we go; after a generous dousing of WD-40 and some random Chinese cleaning solution, it appears that the spider's nervous system has shut down and it can no longer move. Jeremy 1 - Spider 0:

Feeling good about myself, I returned to watching the movie and eating chips; thinking that was the last of that spider, and I'd clean up its dead body later...

THINK AGAIN!:

When I returned to the bathroom I was surprised to see the monster on the other side of the sponge, alive and well. Luckily, I had a small BBQ lighter on hand (it really sucks, but it'll have to do):

Oh snap! It's escaping!! (you get a good view of the size of it here):

It wasn't easy to hit the moving target, especially when the BBQ lighter doesn't always ignite, and when it does there is little flame:

Finally! The smell of crispy spider rules the day. No longer will this 8-legged fiend terrorize the bathroom sink. The true master of the home has taken his rightful throne.

Homeless: The Reality TV Show

The other day I had a good conversation with Albert about a possible reality TV program idea, patterned after the lives of homeless people.

The basic idea of the show would be to have a number of contestants who are taken to other countries (where they can't speak the native language) and they are to live and act like homeless people for a specified period of time. Their goal would be to collect money and try to work their way up (without using any extraordinary skills or "american looks" or anything else that) to get a job and a place to rent in the city they are assigned. The first person to get a full-time job (may be some restrictions here as to what is considered a "job") and a place to stay would win a grand prize.

The cameramen would have to be disguised and in vans, or behind building windows to make the "homeless people" look real and not interfere. Other than a few restrictions as to what the homeless people can say or do (have to play character at all times) they would be free to come up with ideas to move up in life. When they are first dropped off they would have no money, and just some ragged clothes on their back and a shopping cart full of random items (picked by the show's staff). From there each homeless person would be timed to see how long it takes them to reach the show's goal of getting a full-time job and a place to rent.

It was also suggested that the winner of the show (or other contestants, if they get some amount of prize money) could win a second jackpot if he or she donated more than a certain percentage of the original winnings (say 50%+) within the first 6 months of winning, to reward the winners who have learned the most from their experience.

This guy is pretty homeless, from what I can tell.

Valedictorian Address

The following is the valedictorian address I gave at the BCIT convocation ceremony on February 16, 2006. It is a collage of images from the BTech class, and related issues, while I read the speech.

I always found these speeches dull and rarely very entertaining. As a result, I tried to put some humour in and make it fun to listen to. However, I am not good at coming up with that much witty stuff, so I just stole some from Dr. Seuss and added a little more of my own!

Gridlock

Vancouver has the worst traffic out of every city I've been to (although I haven't been to a lot). I noticed that even in the middle of the day (when most people are at work) the roads are highly congested, like rush-hour in other cities. So I started thinking of why the traffic here is so bad.

At first, I thought it was because of the road system itself. There are tons of cars and only so many roads. Or maybe it's because of the fact that Vancouver is bordering the Ocean and has some major rivers and waterways around it, making for more bridge traffic (bottelnecks). Or maybe it's just because the roads were not designed for the proper amount of traffic, or for the right high-concentration locations. Also, there are always construction projects slowing things down on some of the major roads. Some of these reasons may indeed be why the traffic in Vancouver is so bad, but there is an even bigger reason:

VANCOUVER HOUSE PRICES!

On the skytrain recently I was amazed at how many people live in (or at least go to) Surrey. Taking a look at the Ten Largest Municipalities in BC by Population we can see how the population around Vancouver is spread out (via wikipedia):

1. Vancouver - 545,671
2. Surrey (GVA) - 347,825
3. Burnaby (GVA) - 193,954
4. Richmond (GVA) - 164,345
5. Abbotsford - 115,463
6. Coquitlam (GVA) - 112,890
7. Saanich - 103,654
8. Delta (GVA) - 96,950
9. Kelowna - 96,288
10. Langley Township (GVA) - 86,896

There are a lot of people who live outside of Vancouver in the surrounding areas, and where do these people work? Vancouver, of course! So every morning, if we assume a mere 25% of those people are adults and work in Vancouver we have a whopping 1/4 of a million people coming in every morning and leaving every evening.

If housing prices weren't so bad (or if businesses were to open up shop in other locations more often, rather than downtown Vancouver) people could afford to live closer to work rather than having to commute extreme distances every day to their (slightly) cheaper homes in Surrey and other places. I, myself, have to travel about 1 hour by so-called 'rapid' public transportation to work every morning and evening. It's not just that the 2/24 (almost 10%) of my day is wasted in traveling, but the crowded system, whether on a bus, skytrain, or in my car, also adds to stress and annoyance levels.

Not much the average commuter can do, other than try to live closer downtown or try to find jobs that aren't centered downtown. In the meantime, I'll just have to live with this daily gridlock (and continue to complain).

Tip of the day!

After reading an article on tipping at restaurants and also having gone out to dinner a couple days ago, I feel inspired to take on the topic of “tips”.

The article (see http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/business/4191557.html) talks about some restaurants introducing a mandatory 20% gratuity fee (tip-included in your bill). This is in response to less tipping in some higher end restaurants, and ensuring that waiters and waitresses get their “full amount”. One particularly interesting comment from a disgruntled waiter reads:

"I find it unacceptable for people not to know that the tipping rate is 20 percent"
- Burkhart (31-year-old waitress)

The fact that this is coming from a 30+ year old woman is kind of funny (and annoying at the same time). Perhaps she should have made the following mental note to self when she was in high-school: Once I finish working at McDonalds as a summer job, make sure I go to school and prepare to get a REAL job when I grow up. The article also mentions that the average tip given is currently 18.7%, not 20%. There are even some groups of waiters and waitresses that post the names of customers on the Internet if they do not tip over 17% (slightly below the national average). Such antics only make me less likely to tip at all. What makes these people so great as to expect additional money from me for doing nothing?

“It's like a bum expecting money.”
-Ben Wan

Why don’t restaurants include such “tips” in the price of the meal, thus increasing the salaries of the poor waiters and waitresses (as the article also mentions)? If the workers aren’t getting paid fair wages, then give them fair money, but don’t expect customers to give them additional money to make up for poor employment standards.

In my entire life, I have never, not once, gotten a tip (that I am aware of). I have washed cars, washed dishes, pruned trees, sprayed lawns with chemicals, programmed software, and many other jobs. Yet, I still get no additional money, no matter how well I do the job or how big a smile I wear. Why should people who do nothing more than carry a couple plates and write orders get additional money? They don’t even prepare the food; the cook deserves much more credit than the waiter/waitress in the restaurant environment.

In fact, I would be more than happy to write down my own order and personally deliver it to the cook. It would be fast and ensure my exact order is conveyed to the one in charge of making it. I can also ask my fellow dinner guests “How is your meal today” multiple times throughout the meal to ensure that restaurant-feel. This is similar to McDonalds and other places where you go to the counter and make your selections, as well as pick up your food and condiments yourself while finding a place to seat (all without the help of a waiter or waitress!).

Additionally, when I went to a restaurant with my girlfriend the other day I was not impressed with the service. First of all, I only went because I had an entertainment coupon (for $9 off). But the coupon noted that you had to pay 15-20% (although the Canadian average is lower than the amount on the coupon, which is the American average – see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gratuity) of the bill as a tip to get the coupon discount. Thus the coupon was relegated to a measly $6 after the $3 tip on a $20 meal. And to top it off the service was very slow and the waitress walked off and totally forgot about me as my interact payment was processing. Eventually I just left, not bothering to wait for her to come and give me my receipt. I really wish I had tipped nothing at that point.

Based on this information, and my own personal experiences, I am now even more firm in my no-tip stance. However, there are many people who insist on tipping, regardless of the service tendered. I figure there are 4 options that would help to resolve this whole tip issue and bring peace to the world:

1. The restaurants can re-adjust the way they pay their employees (minimum wage or whatever, thus no need to tips)
2. The waiters can shut-up and live with the system
3. Get rid of all waiters and allow the customers a way to directly give their order, pick up the order from the cooks
4. Someone can start paying me a tip for my daily work (and I will do the same at restaurants

Until one of those changes is made, from today on I say we unitedly take a stand: 0% tips!

What Business Model Is This?

I currently do no have cable TV. I would like to have cable TV. However, the current business model for Cable TV, among other industries, confuses and angers me. We are expected to pay an initial fee to hookup to the service, we need to buy the materials to use the connection (TV, etc), we must pay a large monthly fee to use the service (with little options), AND we must view both commercials and in-show ad placements. What kind of a business model is this?

It seems that the cable companies are using a subscription-based, monopolistic, ad-based business model. We must pay for the right to subscribe to the service, waste our time watching commercials (that should pay for the service in themselves), and even pay ADDITIONAL money if we want to watch pay-per-view events. How is it that these companies can get away with charging the consumer so many times for the same service? There should be only one model in place: subscription or ad-based. If we are forced to watch ad-laced programs we should not have to pay a monthly fee as well, and vice-versa. This is in addition to the fact that they give you little options for choice of channels you want to watch. You have basic and full cable packages, but no control over what those packages include. You are expected to buy the most expensive package just to get the channels you want, even if you only want a few.

Now there are Internet companies trying to copy this scheme to make more money themselves, leaving the consumer with even less power. Certain ISPs are looking to restrict access to content based on your service provider (i.e. only access cnn.com if you use Telus - net neutrality!) so you have to subscribe to many providers to have access to the entire Internet. There is also further talk of restricting bandwidth and making consumers pay more money to get a "fast" connection, while others with a "slow" connection will have their access speeds lowered from current levels. This in an effort to make more money by charging customers more for what should be a universally affordable product.

The larger companies like Bell, Rogers, and others are all looking to increase their already large profits while consumers are given fewer options and are forced to pay more for the same, or even lower-quality, services.

Why, With the Cats???

Why do people get cats as pets? More especially, why do women like to have cats as pets? Is it because they like touching and hugging things? In that case get a stuffed animal, or get a boyfriend! Or is it because cats act like little princesses (prancing around the house like they own the place!), and women like to think they are little princesses too?

I personally think fish make much better pets as they are cleaner, don't wreck things, more compact, easier to care for, cheaper, and look nicer. However, the main idea of this rant is cats, so here is a list of reasons (just a few of many!) why cats don’t make a good pet:

1. Cats scratch other cats (not always, but quite often!)
2. Cats scratch people (look at my girlfriend’s left arm if you don’t believe me)
3. Cats scratch furniture (especially couches!!)
4. Cats scratch beds (my bed has a big hole due to the previous owner’s cat)
5. Cats scratch door frames
6. Cats scratch [Insert noun here]
7. Cats make a real stink when they use the litter box (WOW!)
8. Cats shed hair ALL over, and many people are allergic to said hair
   

This is all without even looking at the prices involved! Cats cost money for food, litter and vet bills. Plus, they will grow old and die in your life time which will really cost a lot in vet bills. Then when they are finally dead it is quite an emotional roller coaster for the owner, and any kids that were attached to the cat. Most owners buy ANOTHER cat to "ease the pain", only to start the cycle anew!

Then there is the strain put on relationships because of cats. One is example happened a few weeks back, when I was visiting my girlfriend. I found a small keychain water gun and thought it would be great to pray my girlfriend’s cat, Venus. I filled it up with water from the sink, snuck up behind the cat, and *SQUIRT*, got it right on the back! (see illustration below)

That's me on the left, and the cat, Venus, on the right

However, my girlfriend saw the incident and I was given “the look”. She was quite angry, and I had to turn away trying to suppress my laughter which made her even angrier. Needless to say it was not a positive growth experience for our relationship.

All those things aside, the biggest reason I am against cats is because of the house damage inflicted by these so-called pets. If I am to save, sacrifice, and put my all into providing my family with a house, I expect all members of the household to treat it with respect. A million-dollar house (which is an average home in Vancouver these days) is not something I can trivially buy and sell on a whim. It will take all that I have for the rest of my life to afford a mediocre abode. I cannot stand idly by as a “pet” turns my dream and hard work into a pile of rubble, seriously degrading all that I have worked for.

In conclusion: Get A Fish (or something other than a cat, even a dog is better)!